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Matter of life and death

Pandemic provides opportunity for parents to help children cope with the awareness of mortality and manage their emotions, Li Yingxue reports.

By Li Yingxue | CHINA DAILY | Updated: 2020-08-10 07:40
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A parent takes her children to Wuzhong Museum, which opened in Suzhou, Jiangsu province, in late June, on July 22. Many children are using the summer vacation to broaden their knowledge by visiting museums.  WANG JIANKANG/FOR CHINA DAILY

Huang says for teenagers, parents should emphasize the danger of the pandemic and ask them to pay attention to the epidemic prevention measures.

"It's not horrible to talk about death. Children at any age may have questions about life and death, and the parents should answer them patiently," Huang says. "It's not good for children to reject the topic of death."

Lin Chun, deputy director of psychological consultant working committee of Chinese Psychological Society, says besides offering the chance for parents to talk to their children about death, the pandemic has also given parents an opportunity to cultivate their children's ability to deal with a crisis.

He says it's normal for people to be afraid and anxious because of the uncertainty of the pandemic, and both feelings have a positive side of keeping people alert to danger.

"If the kids are anxious, parents could guide them to embrace their emotions and learn scientific epidemic prevention methods to reduce their fear," Lin says.

Lin says information overload is a problem people are facing when learning about the pandemic. He encourages parents to search for accurate and useful information together with their children.

The pandemic is something that both parents and kids want to know about, so it's a good time for parents to inform themselves while helping their kids to figure out how to find accurate information amid all the online messages.

One way to do that is to contrast the information from medical professionals or authoritative institutions such as the WHO and articles on other websites, which will reveal how some reports or rumor-mongers sensationalize or misrepresent the situation to gain attention.

"Critical thinking is needed, and we can use the pandemic to train children to always question the information they receive," Lin says.

Some news reports and science popularization materials can also inspire kids to imagine and feel the vulnerability of life and the anguish of disease, which lets them understand the importance of health and the inevitability of death.

Lin also says parents can learn more about the virus with their kids, such as the routes of transmission, how the virus infects the cells, and the relationship between such pathogens and wild animals and why climate change is increasing the risk of such viruses emerging.

"By telling them that human's knowledge is still limited which needs scientists to explore further can also trigger the kids' curiosity about nature and their interest in science," Lin says.

Children may not be used to the lack of outdoor activities and playing with their peers, and Lin says the pandemic is also an opportunity to discuss with children the importance of society.

"Parents could tell the kids that because of the medical workers' round-the-clock efforts, patients were saved and recovered, and the pandemic has been controlled because of the front line epidemic prevention personnel, together with people from other professions, and by the rest of us staying home," he says.

As the summer vacation has arrived and the pandemic is basically under control in China, Lin encourages parents to create more opportunities for their children to communicate with their friends.

"There are many things the children can only learn from each other, even from fighting with each other, so social contact with their peers is necessary," Lin says.

"Children should not only communicate through the internet. Families can socialize together."

Lin says there are multiple roles that parents play besides being an educator, and the pandemic has strengthened those roles because of the time spent with the children.

"Parents should also be good observers, companions, demonstrators and leaders," Lin says.

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