Father's Day cards sport some pretty typical jokes, with the punch lines often asking Dad for money in one way or another. But these days, fathers aren't laughing over the pressure they face to dole out the dollars on their kids.
Mirroring the general rise in consumerism over the last few generations, teenagers are spending more money than ever. Just last year, 31.6 million teens spent 5 billion, according to the Northbrook, Ill.,-based market research group Teenage Research Unlimited. Much of that money, of course, comes from parents.
Shocked at how much money kids spend? Maybe you haven't checked the price tags lately on some of the younger generation's must-haves.
Tickets to the *NSYNC concert at Chicago's Soldier Field this weekend could set you back more than a pop. That's still cheaper than the latest Air Jordan shoe from Nike, which goes for 0 a pair. A Sony Play Station 2: 0.
To some, such extravagant spending on the notoriously fickle young might seem outrageous. Why do some parents give in?
Buckling Under Pressure, Guilt
One factor is surely the sheer power of marketing through mass media. According to the group Adbusters, teenagers are exposed to an estimated 3,000 advertisements each day. Combine the ads with programming itself, like the fashion-, music- and skin-filled shows on MTV, and you've got a barrage of messages telling kids what they should own if they want to fit in.
"The pressures on parents today are enormous," says Tom Vogele, a single father of twin 18-year-old girls in Newport Beach, Calif. "I truly believe it is harder today to raise children without spoiling them, not because parents are less capable or lazy, but because so many forces are working against me."
Many working parents probably compensate by spending money on their kids, says Timothy Marshall, an associate professor of developmental psychology at Christopher Newport University in Virginia. For some, there is probably some guilt involved in not spending enough time at home.
But, adds Marshall, spending money is also often more convenient in our fast-paced society than going to baseball games or other activities.
"It's easier to say let's go out and spend some money, in terms of finding time in a busy schedule to spend with kids," Marshall said.
The Virtues of Budgeting, Saying No
For many families, of course, keeping up with their children's costly demands for designer clothing, CDs, and concert tickets is a financial impossibility. Even for those families who can afford such lavish spending, striking a compromise between spoiling the kids and denying them is tricky, but possible.
Teaching kids how to budget and save is key, Marshall says. Instead of just giving children the toys or clothing they desire, give them an allowance and show them how they can save up for whatever they want, he says.
And don't be afraid to just say no, Marshall adds. "We need to step up and tell kids where the boundaries are, that's part of our responsibility as parents," he said.
(Agencies)
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父親節(jié)賀卡在給當(dāng)爸爸的帶來一些開心笑話的同時(shí)卻常常在轉(zhuǎn)彎抹角向爸爸要錢花。如今，當(dāng)爸爸的面對給孩子花錢的壓力再也笑不出來了。
消費(fèi)主義在過去幾十年的擴(kuò)張，更是在當(dāng)今出手不凡的小孩中得到體現(xiàn)-他們花的錢比以往任何一代的都多。據(jù)美國伊利諾伊州諾茨布魯克一叫做少兒研究公司的市場調(diào)研組織稱，僅在去年，3160萬孩子花掉了1550億美金。當(dāng)然，這筆錢大多數(shù)來自他們父母。
這個(gè)數(shù)據(jù)令你吃驚嗎？也許你最近沒看過這幫孩子必備品的價(jià)格標(biāo)簽吧。
本周末在芝加哥Soldier Field舉行的NSYNC組合演唱會(huì)票價(jià)要75美金，這可能會(huì)嚇你一跳，不過和160美金一雙的耐克牌喬丹氣墊鞋比起來那可謂小巫見大巫，更別提價(jià)值300美金的索尼游戲操縱平臺。
有些人反對花很多錢給小毛孩買奢侈品，認(rèn)為是種讓浪費(fèi)。那為什么做父母的會(huì)屈服掏錢？
原因之一要?dú)w咎于借助傳媒興風(fēng)作浪的市場營銷。根據(jù)Adbusters公司的調(diào)查，少年兒童每天會(huì)接觸到大約3，000個(gè)廣告。再加上有些電視節(jié)目，如集時(shí)裝、音樂和化妝于一體的MTV，鋪天蓋地地傳出信息引導(dǎo)孩子們應(yīng)該擁有什么才算跟上潮流。
一位住在加州新港海灘的名叫湯姆-伏格爾的單身父親撫養(yǎng)著一對18歲的孿生女兒。他說："今天的父母承受的壓力太大了。我的確相信當(dāng)今要做到不寵慣孩子就把他們養(yǎng)大成人簡直太難了。這不是因?yàn)楦改改芰ο陆祷驊卸瑁且驗(yàn)槲宜媾R的阻力太多了。"
弗吉尼亞克里斯多弗-新港大學(xué)的發(fā)展心理學(xué)講師提摩太-馬歇爾說："好多有工作的父母大概想通過在孩子身上花錢來作為一種彌補(bǔ)。他們?yōu)闆]足夠的時(shí)間陪孩子而感到愧疚。"
不過，馬歇爾補(bǔ)充說，在時(shí)下快節(jié)奏的社會(huì)里，在孩子身上多花錢和帶他們?nèi)グ羟虮荣惢蚱渌顒?dòng)相比要來得更便利些。
馬歇爾還說："在忙碌的日程中抽空陪孩子的比較易行的方法是跟孩子說：'走，咱們找個(gè)地兒方破費(fèi)吧去。"
當(dāng)然，對好多家庭而言，無止境滿足孩子對時(shí)裝、唱片和音樂會(huì)的要求從經(jīng)濟(jì)上講是不可能的。即便那些承受得住這樣大手大腳花錢的家庭，也要在寵慣孩子和拒絕孩子的要求之間平衡折中，--這是件頗費(fèi)腦筋的事，不過這是有可能的。
馬歇爾認(rèn)為，問題的關(guān)鍵是應(yīng)教孩子如何花錢和存錢。與其給孩子買他們中意的玩具和衣服，還不如給他們零用錢教他們把錢存起來以便日后用在自己想做的事情上面。
馬歇爾又補(bǔ)充說，千萬不要怕說不。"我們必須讓孩子知道花錢的界限所在，這也是為人父母的責(zé)任。"
(中國日報(bào)網(wǎng)站譯)
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Updated: 2001-06-25 01:00
