Why do smart people do dumb things?
聰明人為什么會做傻事?
It beats me. But year in, year out, we can count on some pretty smart people in Washington, on Wall Street, on Main Street and all over the world, to do some pretty dumb things.
這個問題真是難住我了。不過年復一年,我們總能發現華盛頓、華爾街、美國普通百姓之中和全球范圍內的一些聰明絕頂的人會做些愚蠢透頂的事。
2009 was no different. Here are the second annual Meanie Awards for outstanding achievement in the field of human ineptitude.
2009年也不例外。以下是第二屆年度“閑說獎”獲獎名單,授予那些在人類愚行領域取得杰出成就的人士。
The Meanies for U.S. Politics
美國政界中的獲獎者
The "Commander-in-Chief of the Polycom" Award to President Barack Obama
“多方電話會議總司令”獎:奧巴馬總統
For recently stooping to conquer a bunch of disrespectful Wall Street CEOs in an embarrassing and messy group conference call .
獲獎原因:奧巴馬最近在一次尷尬而混亂的多方電話會議中,屈尊征服了好幾位無禮的華爾街首席執行官。
The "My Machine She's A Dud Stuck in the Swamps of Jersey" Award to Outgoing NJ Governor Jon Corzine
“賠了夫人又折兵”獎:即將卸任的新澤西州州長、民主黨人喬恩·科賽因
For spending $25 million of his own money and still contriving to lose a state where Democrats outnumber Republicans almost 2:1. Someday he will look back on this and it will all seem funny. Or maybe not.
獲獎原因:科賽因自掏腰包2500萬美元,卻仍有本事在一個民主黨比共和黨多出近一倍的州中競選失利。將來有一天他回首往事時,或許會對此一笑置之,或許仍會耿耿于懷。
The "Robespierre of the Iowa Cornfields" Award to Senator Charles Grassley
“愛荷華玉米地版殺人如麻的羅伯斯庇爾”獎:參議員查爾斯·格雷斯爾
For suggesting in a fit of pique last March that AIG executives who demanded their contractual bonuses should have the dignity to "resign or commit suicide."
獲獎原因:3月份,愛荷華州參議員格雷斯爾在氣頭上說,那些要求按合同獲得獎金的美國國際集團(AIG)高管們應該“辭職或自行了斷”,不要再丟人現眼了。

The Meanies for Wall Street and U.S. Business
華爾街和美國企業中的獲獎者
The "When It Comes to PR, Timing Isn't Anything. It's Everything" Award to Goldman Sachs
“在公共關系上,時機就是一切”獎:高盛集團(Goldman Sachs)
For flubbing its big $500 million 10,000 Small Business Initiative by launching it the same week the TARP Inspector General said Goldman was saved by the AIG bailout.
獲獎原因:在問題資產救助計劃(TARP)監察長說高盛被AIG的救助所拯救的同一周,高盛推出了規模5億美元的“萬家小企業計劃”,正是這個倒霉的時機把計劃攪黃了。
The "You Should Have Seen the First Draft" Award to Morgan Stanley
“你應該看看最初的草稿”獎:摩根士丹利
For taking an astonishing 1,400 words to say in a press release that heir-apparent James Gorman would in fact succeed CEO John Mack. The eye-catching headline read: "Announcement Follows Thorough Succession Planning Process and Achievement of Key Company Milestones."
獲獎原因:長得驚人的新聞稿用了1400個單詞,實際上要說的只不過是當然的接班人詹姆斯·高曼將真的接替首席執行長麥晉桁(John Mack)。令人大跌眼鏡的新聞稿標題是:《全面接班規劃過程及實現公司關鍵里程碑后的公告》。
The "Jack Welch Taught Me Everything I Know About Humility" Award to GE CEO Jeff Immelt
“杰克·韋爾奇教我要謙虛”獎:通用電氣首席執行官杰夫·伊梅爾特
For recently confessing that GE apparently "had issues in financial services", and that he had "decided that [he] needed to be a better listener coming out of the crisis."
獲獎原因:伊梅爾特最近承認,通用電氣顯然“在金融服務上有問題”,他已經“下決心要在危機過后做一個更善于傾聽的人”。
The "Who Is John Galt? I Am John Galt" Award to AIG CEO Robert Benmosche
“來無影去無蹤”獎:美國國際集團首席執行官羅伯特·本默切
For spending the first few weeks of his tenure at AIG, giving press interviews and working from his palatial 12-bathroom villa on the coast of Croatia.
獲獎原因:本默切就任美國國際集團首席執行官后,最初的幾周都是在克羅地亞海邊一幢有12個浴室的豪華別墅里接受媒體采訪或“遠程”辦公。
The Main Street Meanies
普通百姓中的獲獎者
The "Country is Bankrupt, But Still My Bunions Must Go" Award to America's Senior Citizens
“國家破產又怎樣,我的煩惱才重要”獎:美國老年人
For insisting on eroding their grandchildren and great-grandchildren's quality of life in order to maximize their own quality of life.
獲獎原因:頑固地損害子孫后代的生活質量,以便最大限度地提高自己的生活質量。
The "Don't 90% of You Believe in Heaven?" Award to the American People
“不是有90%的人都相信確有天堂嗎”獎:美國人民
For refusing to face the inevitability of death and the unsustainability of an American end-of-life medical system we just can't afford.
獲獎原因:拒絕面對死亡的不可避免性,拒絕面對我們難以負擔的臨終醫療制度的不可持續性。
The "Evil Bankers Made Us Do It" Award to Millions of Obama's "Responsible" Homeowners
“是邪惡的銀行家讓我們這樣做的”獎:奧巴馬數百萬“負責任的”房主
For not bothering to modify their mortgages, walking away from money-losing homes and proving that Americans can be both irresponsible and economically rational at the same time.
獲獎原因:不去費心調整抵押貸款,而是面對賠錢的房子一走了之,證明美國人既能不負責任,也能同時保持經濟上的理性。
The Global Meanies
全球獲獎者
The "No, Nice Air-Conditioning Is Not a Competitive Advantage" Award to the Emirate of Dubai
“不,好空調不算競爭優勢”獎:迪拜
For proving that the peoples of Arabia are perfectly capable of competing with Americans when it comes to foolish real estate speculation.
獲獎原因:他們證明了在愚蠢的房地產投機上,阿拉伯人民完全有能力與美國人民一較高下。
相關閱讀:
美國2009年度最佳及最差雇主大調查
全球語言監測機構評選十年最熱短語
《韋氏大詞典》2009年新收錄詞條
RNPS images of the year 2009
(來源:天星教育網 編輯:Julie)