Forget being published, instead get instant recognition as a writer on the Internet, where fashions and "literary"styles change at a bewildering pace. For instance, forms of Chinese-language expression that were in vogue but are now passe include "pear blossom" and "brain damaged". Now "sweet honey style" has been popularized by a netizen with the handle "Love Ayumi Hamasaki Little Honey" (Ai Bu Xiao Mi Tang). Hamasaki, by the way, is Japan's "Empress of Pop" and one of the principal movers behind cute or "kawaii" culture.

An example of this hyper cute kind of writing is this reply to the posted question: "Is it easy for men to buy bags?"

"Hee hee "``` My brother Piggy likes those kind of big bags you put on your back "``` those mountain climbing bags ohh "``` and when he walk walks he carries his sweet honey bag ohh "``` next time we plan to buy a lover's companion bag "``` hee hee "``` O(∩_∩)O"(a smiling face).

Obviously, we lose something in the translation but you get the idea. Plenty of SMS lingo, emoticons, aahs, ohhs, and hee hees, in a kind of Taiwanese slang that passes for cool and super girly.

It appears the unexpected wedding of writer Joe Nieh and his long-suffering lover, the singer Vivian Chow, was a shotgun marriage. According to the Hong Kong paper Oriental Sunday, 41-year-old Chow was seeing a doctor who specializes in fertility problems, in 2008. Nieh, on the other hand, was seeing other women, hee hee.

When Chow found out about her boyfriend's misalliances at the fag end of last year she ended their 19-year relationship, then did an entirely unexpected 180 by agreeing to marry him, in January. Though nothing was said at the time, it appears their decision may have been the result of a positive pregnancy test. Chow, according to the paper, has been baking her bun in the oven for two to three months O(∩_∩)O.

If you can't beat 'em join them, seems to be the thinking behind BTV and its show Ordinary People Theater (Baixing Xiu Chang), which has adopted the shanzhai (fake goods) format of putting your average Joe or Jill on stage and impersonating first-class entertainers. Enter stage right Xiao Longyang, who does impressions of the red-hot sweet honey comedian Xiao Shenyang.

Longyang's performance on Monday night was a virtual reprise of Shenyang's shows on CCTV and BTV for their Spring Festival galas. After the initial frisson of interest it quickly became apparent that this was a pale imitation - Shenyang without the charisma. The upshot is that before long you are thinking: "What's the point of this?" On the other hand, Longyang's fans say it's difficult to see Shenyang live and they're quite satisfied with the copy, ahh.

Compiled by Jules Quartly