難說再見 Losing You

2013-07-26 12:29

你是我最好的朋友，但是你卻要離我而去，遠赴加拿大。我不想失去你，不忍心告別，可是對這一切我又是那么無能為力。那么，朋友，希望你能記得在遙遠的國度還有一個我在牽掛著你……

I’ve just come back from school, and I’m on my computer already! I could do anything to distract myself from your thoughts… I could read a book, do my homework or even have lunch.

But I just don’t want to. Because right now, all I really want to do is think about you. Think about the memories we made. Together. Or when we were apart. I knew I had you… and now I know that I don’t.

Our memories… that’s all I’m really left with. Remember the day when we first met and how I annoyed you with my not-so-funny jokes, and how you pretended to laugh at them? And the day when we had our first biggest fight and how you gave me a card that said “Open this envelope with a smile because today is a special day for you” on my birthday? And how that made us friends again? You’d made my day, really.

My chest hurts. It feels so empty.

I love us. I love everything about us. Everything. And I never wanted this to end. I hate seeing you go away. I just wish I could stop you somehow and tell you how much I need you here. With me forever. But that would be selfish.

Yesterday, I died a little inside when you said you’d be leaving at 10 pm for your flight. And I was just like,” Wow, so you really ARE leaving us.”

But I can’t help it, can I? Neither can you. I just realized how much I hated goodbyes. I don’t want to ‘goodbye’ you.

The truth is, I’ve never been open to many people. I’ve been shy and quiet. So if I loved you enough to tell you all my secrets and show you the real me… you must be very special.

I regret everything I’ve said or done to hurt you. I’m sorry. I never meant to do those things to you.

No matter the distance between us, no matter where you are, or where I am…I will always love you. And I just hope you love me too. Just for me, make sure Canada treats you better than we did.

You’re my best friend; you’ll always be my best friend. You’re my best friend for life.

You’re taking away eight years of my life with you. You’re the only person who actually got me, who could tell when I was upset, who knew how to make me feel better... and now that person is going away.

Will you just do me a favor? Just promise me one thing, okay? Promise me that you will never forget about me. That you will always remember that you had a friend named Harshita.

And that’s all I want you to do.

我剛剛放學回家，就已經(jīng)坐在了電腦前面！任何事情都能把我從對你的思念中拉回來……我可以找本書看、做作業(yè)或是吃午飯。

但我并不想這樣，因為此時此刻，我真正想做的事情就是想著你。想著我們共同的回憶，既有在一起的記憶，也有分開時的記憶。我知道你曾經(jīng)是我的好友……而現(xiàn)在我也清楚這一切已一去不復返。

我們的回憶……這是你留給我的全部了。你是否還記得我們第一次見面的那天，我跟你講了一些并不好笑的笑話，你雖然有些煩，但還是裝作大笑的樣子？你是否還記得那天我們第一次大吵了一架，我生日時你給了我一張賀卡，上面寫道“請微笑著打開這個信封，因為今天對你來說是個特殊的日子”？你是否還記得那張賀卡讓我們重新成為朋友？你讓我的生日與眾不同，真的。

我的心好疼，感覺空空的。

我喜歡我倆在一起的時候。我喜歡關(guān)于我倆的一切。所有的一切。我從沒想過要讓這一切結(jié)束。我不想看著你離去。我多么想找個借口阻止你離開，告訴你我有多需要你。只想讓你和我在一起。但是這樣太自私了。

昨天，當你告訴我說，你要搭晚上十點的航班離開時，我的心好像有一小部分已經(jīng)死去了。我當時只是說，“哦，你果真要離開我們了。”

然而對此我卻無能為力，不是么？你也無法改變這一切。我才意識到我多么討厭說再見，不想跟你說“再見”。

事實上，我并不是對所有人都能敞開心扉。我一直都很害羞、安靜。因此，如果我喜歡你到告訴你我所有的秘密，并向你袒露真實的自我時……那你一定是個非常特殊的朋友了。

我很后悔說了什么或做了什么而傷害了你。對不起，我從沒想過要那樣對你。

無論相隔多遠，無論你身在何方，無論我在哪個角落……我會一直愛著你。我只希望你也同樣愛著我。答應我，在加拿大要過得好好的，要比和我們在一起的時候過得更好。你是我最好的朋友，將來一直都會是。你是我一生最好的朋友。

你帶走了我生命中的八年時光。你是唯一一個能夠理解我，知道什么時候我很煩躁，知道如何安慰我的朋友……而現(xiàn)在，你走了。

你能幫我一個忙嗎？答應我一件事，好嗎？答應永遠不要忘記我。你要永遠記得你有一個朋友叫哈什塔。

這就是我對你的所有要求。

(By Fabel Harrison 漪然選喬敏譯)

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