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Humor Joke 幽默笑話

中國日報網英語點津為您精選語言地道的英語笑話，開心學英語。

地獄里的律師

2010-03-04 10:33
A lawyer died and was delivered into the devil's hands. "You will be spending eternity here, but I'll let you pick your own room from three I'll show you," the devil said.

新律師

2010-03-03 10:14
He decided to come back to the small town because he could be a big man in this small town.

把錢帶走

2010-03-02 09:22
The lawyer then said, "I'm ashamed of both of you. When I put my envelope into that coffin, it held my personal check for the full $30,000."

律師的狗

2010-03-01 10:30
The butcher immediately shot back, "Good! You owe me $7.99 for the roast your dog stole from me this morning."

完美生活

2010-02-26 09:36
The young jogger says, "Man, you have everything I have ever dreamed for in my life. What could be so wrong in your life that you are sitting here in the park crying?"

教輔書

2010-02-25 09:44
Questioning the store clerk about a book for one of his classes, the clerk responded, "This book will do half the job for you."

安慰

2010-02-24 09:39
Her brother, busily occupied playing a game, hardly looked up at her and passed on this encouraging word: "That's not true, Mary. Some people don't even know you."

大腦移植

2010-02-23 09:20
"For a male brain, $500,000. For a female brain, $200,000," replied the doctor.

和牙醫幽會

2010-02-22 09:28
Laura fell for her handsome new dentist like a ton of bricks and pretty soon had lured him into a series of passionate encounters in the dental clinic after hours.

能活多久

2010-02-21 09:07
"I'm afraid I have some very bad news," the doctor says. "You're dying, and you don't have much time left."

壞消息

2010-02-20 09:34
Doctor: Well, I have good news and bad news. Patient: Go with the good news first.

麻藥的力量

2010-02-12 09:47
Well, the wife was dissapointed because instead of "beautiful" it was "cute."

致命食物

2010-02-11 11:07
But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all eat it. Can anyone here tell me what lethal product I'm referring to?"

打聽時間

2010-02-10 09:17
Calling out to the patient, the man says, "Pardon me, sir, but do you have the time?"

植皮手術

2010-02-09 09:47
"My darling," he replied, "I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek."

為什么郁悶

2010-02-08 11:12
Approaching the friend he comments, "You look terrible. What's the problem?"

三杯威士忌

2010-02-05 09:51
The man answered, "Because my two brothers and I always used to have one shot each, and since they've both passed on, I've continued to order the three shots in their honor."

醉漢請酒

2010-02-04 11:47
A drunk walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill."

賣妻

2010-02-03 11:06
"I did a terrible thing," sniffed the drunk, "Just a few hours ago I sold my wife to someone for a bottle of Southern Comfort."

愿望

2010-02-02 10:12
Several years ago I was cleaning the attic and I found this old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes.

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