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Humor Joke 幽默笑話

中國日報網英語點津為您精選語言地道的英語笑話，開心學英語。

Cow on train tracks

2007-05-08 08:30
A passenger train is creeping along, slowly. Finally it creaks to a halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside.

He's a very smart dog

2007-04-30 08:00
I went to the cinema the other day and in the front row was an old man and with him was his dog.

經典對白--如何拒絕男孩子

2007-04-29 08:00
Boy:May I hold your hand?
Girl:No thanks,it isn't heavy.

2007-04-28 08:00
After his marriage broke up, my manager became very philosophical."I guess it was in our stars," he sighed."Her astrological sign is the one for earth. Mine is the one for water. Together we made mud."

雪球

2007-04-27 08:00
Although fighting the enemy is considered normal, the Army frowns upon fighting among the troops.

What is his occupation

2007-04-25 08:46
A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. "Tim, you be first," she said. "What does your mother do all day?"

Fool

2007-04-24 08:00
Mr. Henry Beecher entered Plymouth Church one Sunday and found several letters awaiting him.

Imitation

2007-04-23 09:00
A schoolboy went home with a pain in his stomach. “Well, sit down and eat your tea,” said his mother. “Your stomach’s hurting because it’s empty. It’ll be all right when you’re got something in it.”

Girl'name

2007-04-20 08:00
When our daughter was born, we named her Myles after my beloved late (1) father, despite family warnings that the name was too masculine (2).

Sooner or later

2007-04-19 08:00
“Young man, where do you work?” the judge asked the defendant.
“Here and there,” said the young man.
“What do you do for a living?”
“This and that.”

畫像

2007-04-18 08:00
One semester (1) when my brother, Peter, attended (2) the University of Minnesota, an art-student friend of his asked if he could paint Peter’s portrait for a class assignment .Peter agreed, and the art-student painted and submitted (3) the portrait. Only receive a C minus.

粗心的教授

2007-04-17 08:00
There were three professors at the railway station. They were deep in conversation. The train had just arrived, but they did not notice it. Then the guard shouted, "Take your seats, please!"

Military English

2007-04-16 08:00
就像這則笑話，講述了Military English的習慣：把基本詞匯放前。

Baby bear wants to live somewhere else

2007-04-13 08:00
The three bears had been having some trouble recently and had ended up in family court. Mama and Papa bear were splitting up, and baby bear had to decide who he was going to live with.

A snail buys a fast new car

2007-04-12 08:10
Recently, the Psychic Hotline and Psychic Friends Network have launched hotlines for frogs. Here is the story of one frog and his discussing with his psychic.

A frog calls a psychic

2007-04-11 08:30
Recently, the Psychic Hotline and Psychic Friends Network have launched hotlines for frogs. Here is the story of one frog and his discussing with his psychic.

I'll use my seeing eye dog

2007-04-10 17:28
A blind man with a seeing eye dog at his side walks into a grocery store. The man walks to the middle of the store, picks up the dog by the tail, and starts swinging the dog around in circles over his head.

Love & marriage

2007-04-09 08:00
Love is holding hands in the street
Marriage is holding arguments in the street

There was just a dog fight

2007-04-06 09:18
A man walks into a bar one day and asks, "Does anyone here own that Rottweiler outside?"
"Yeah, I do!" a biker says, standing up. "What about it?"

Try to grow chickens

2007-04-06 08:00
A New York City yuppie moved to the country and bought a piece of land. He went to the local feed and livestock store and talked to the proprietor about how he was going to take up chicken farming.

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